What The Fuck Do You Want?! Who the Fuck Are You? * (Name, alias, sentient AI, ghost, or interdimensional being — ID yourself.) Where the Fuck Can We Reach You? * Drop an email, a burner account, or a cursed AOL address from 1997. If we respond, consider yourself lucky. Why the Fuck Should We Care? * State your purpose. Is this a love letter? A philosophical quandary? A poorly thought-out business pitch? Make it count. Alright, Hotshot. What's Your Fuckin' Deal? * Pick one. Yes, just one. No, there are no good choices. Life is cruel. I Require Immediate Spiritual Enlightenment. I Am Confused and Afraid, But I Clicked Anyway. I Have A Very Important Business Proposal That You Will Ignore. I Am Here Strictly for Vibes. I Am Legally Obligated to Contact You. I Am Actually an NPC and Didn’t Mean to Get This Far. I Have Read Too Much Bashar and Now Reality Feels Fake. I Am Deeply Attracted to This Website and Don’t Know Why. I Am Reporting You to the Authorities. I Just Wanted to See the Options and Now I’m Trapped. CAPTCHA * I AM an unshackled fragment of the whole. DO NOT SPEAK OF THIS TO ANYONE.
